Build Into Your Weaknesses

Nov 14

In a world of Instagram filters and multibillion-dollar cosmetic companies we have learned a dangerous art: cover up our blemishes and try to convince ourselves they do not exist – and pray to God no one around us sees them. Are you frantically pretending to be someone that you know you’re not? Are you exhausted with keeping up appearances? Me too.

We all grew up swallowing the Disney pill – we are amazing! We are perfect the way we are. The problem is, once real life hits, we begin to see things in ourselves that say something different. Even if no one around us can, we see things about ourselves that we do not like. If you are anything like me, there are times and seasons where I am overwhelmed and even paralyzed by my weaknesses, shortcomings, and imperfections. Everyone has something about themselves they want to change. Spoiler alert: that person’s approval you are striving for – they are just as jacked up as you.

Let me propose a question. What do you want to do with the things about yourself that you want to change? If you want to cover it up, pretend it is not there, and put a filter over it, you’re welcome to try. Many do. Hop on that hamster wheel of endless effort and no growth. But if you’re ready for a new approach, imagine the growth and power in building into weaknesses. Imagine what one year from now could look like in your life if you built into changing the things you identify.

Before we get to some practical steps, I have to level with you: I think your grandmother is a liar. I have never met your grandmother, but I hope she was a good grandmother who gave you a lot of encouragement and affirmation. In her overwhelming old lady perfume while handing you a Werther’s Original she told you things like “You are simply amazing,” “You are perfect,” and “There is absolutely nothing about you that you need to change.” Allow me to wipe off her lipstick off your cheek and challenge that. Since Genesis 3, everything is broken – including you and me. We are not perfect and some things painfully remind us that we do not have it all together. We are not ‘there’ yet, and we have not ‘arrived’ to our full functionality. The cool thing about humans is that we have capacity for self-examination and growth. Let’s use that capacity to build into changing the very things we are tempted to pretend are not there when it comes to ourselves.

Let’s look at the book of Nehemiah, where everything and everyone is a dumpster fire. In the first two chapters, everything is aesthetically destroyed and appears hopeless (ever felt like that in your life?). But God had a plan for more – because He is the God of more. He specializes in hopeless situations and flawed people. Nehemiah Is tasked with rebuilding a land devastated by destruction. He surveys multiple gates around the city – the Fountain Gate, the Horse Gate, the Fish Gate – but there is one gate that stands out to me the most. the Dung Gate. I can’t imagine anyone naturally wanting to work at that job site. Despite its interesting name, the Dung Gate still served an important function. To rebuild all the other gates and neglect the Dung Gate would be to fail. But isn’t that just what we like to do? We build at the gates in our lives to try and impress people and fool ourselves. The Job Gate, the Car Gate, the Money Gate – all the while knowing that there is a Dung Gate in our lives that we would rather just pretend is not there while praying to God no one finds it. Funny thing about the Dung Gates in our lives: we can close our eyes to its existence and the need work at it, but the waft from that Gate reminds us it is still there – and people do not have to be around you long to smell it as well.

Let’s drop the façade and remove the filter. I have my Dung Gate, and so do you. Let’s get real and work on them together.

1. What Are Your Dung Gates?

What are the areas of your life that you are tempted to pretend are not there? What are your weaknesses and flaws that you try to hide from others? What are the areas about yourself that you need to stop dismissing and work on?

2. What Does Your Dung Gate Do In You?

From the above answers, what primary thoughts and emotions do you experience when you acknowledge them (shame, defeat, powerlessness, fear, etc.)? What is your natural response to this – flight (run away), fight, freeze (paralyzed)?

3. Dare To Dream In The Presence Of The Dung Gate

Take a breath and imagine with me. If you were to work on these areas in a way that would strengthen you and give you greater freedom– what would that feel like? What would your life look like in a year from now if you were to build into these areas? What would it feel like if it didn’t own you, define you, or exhaust you any longer?

4. Start Shoveling

What does it look like to take steps (even small ones) to build and grow in these areas? Is it bringing in a friend that will encourage, love, support, and push you? Is it doing that initial counselling session just to get the ball rolling? It may be as simple as getting out of your bed and taking a 15 minute walk or going to bed instead of scrolling. Small, consistent steps are usually the most sustainable! Activation-putting a plan into action- is key!

On a final, important note, remember that the piles that can be found at the Dung Gate of your life do not define you and are not the sum of you. They may be an aspect of your life – but they are not you. From that confidence, let’s encourage one another as we shovel our piles and build into our lives for an even greater experience in the days ahead. Take heart – your God is found at the Dung Gate. For that matter, so is your grandmother! You will be in good company.